Confessions Of A Shady Past
by Nigrescence
Summary: This takes place after The Paine in My Heart. It's being redone! Typos will be washed up in due time. rr please.
1. Bevelle! And Baralai

Author's Note: I've finally REVAMPED this story and figured out _exactly_ how I wanted it set up. Thanks for sticking by me with this everyone!

Among this and many others, all stories are being worked on. Please bear with me. I've taken a break from **_The Kaplan Trials_ **and_ **Cora Chronicles**_ to finish some other works including **_Distant Shadows_ **and **_Tomb Raider: Back to Egypt_**. Feel free to RR any of my work in the meantime. Thanks!

Confessions of a Shady Past

-Nigrescence

Bevelle Underground

  
  
Paine stopped short of the long walk they had endured. How long was it going to be until they found what they were looking for. Obviously Bevelle had its secrets but why hidden in such a place like this? She halted the others as she heard some footsteps approaching and saw a shadow. Baralai appeared from behind the wall and raised his brows in surprised. He didn't think that the three would be here. Paine narrowed her eyes. Something about him was…off. 

"The Gullwings? I was wondering who was there." He said in that sensual and calm tone of his.  
Yuna narrowed her eyes. She too could sense that something was up. This wasn't the Baralai they had met in the beginning. He was hiding something. She just didn't know what. Baralai closed his eyes.

"You don't have to tell me." He said stepping forward. "I know why you've come. You're here to destroy the weapon that threatens all Spira: Vegnagun."

Rikku shifted her eyes over to him and nodded slowly. Could she also sense that he was…off? 

"Am I right?" he asked. His eyes drifted over the three girls and settled on Paine for a moment. He could sense the attraction growing in him, something he hadn't felt in so long as he watched her pale face and the crimson eyes that stared from behind the bangs that fell in front of them. He looked over to the others. "If it could be destroyed we would have done so long ago."

He emphasized with his hands as he was stepping forward once more. "But Vegnagun must not be touched. Neither you nor Nooj seem to understand that." Paine raised a brow. Had he talked to Nooj? She thought New Yevon and The Youth League wouldn't converse at all about the matters at hand. The only option would be to strike and neither side had begun to do so. Only a selected few temples were under order to keep the opposite side out. But that could have given the two the time to contact each other. 

"You talked to Nooj?" She asked. She must have wondered why after what happened the last time any of them had seen each other.

Baralai nodded, looking to the dark woman.

"He...cannot be trusted."

Rikku wasn't buying it. If Nooj couldn't be trusted, then he certainly couldn't. She raised a brow and tossed a hand in his direction. "And you can be?" Baralai turned around and paced. "Touché. Yes, I suppose Yevon has brought that distrust upon itself." When he stopped pacing, he turned around to face them. "At any rate, you need not interfere. Leave Vegnagun to me." Yuna stepped forward although it was hesitant. That feeling that she caught in the beginning hadn't settled and she didn't know what he was capable of. "What are you planning to do?" "The only thing I can do," Baralai took a hold of his staff and brought it in front of him. "Keep those who seek to harm Vegnagun, away." 

Baralai narrowed his eyes. "Please Leave."

Paine wasn't finished. This was 'Lai she was up against. She knew something was a little off. They all knew it! And they realized it now that he was challenging them. This wasn't the same Lai that Paine left behind two years ago. His eyes were hard. Not sincere and sweet like she remembered. This…wasn't Baralai. She stepped forward and tossed the sword briefly into the air, catching the hilt in her right hand. "Rikku. Yuna." she said, narrowing her eyes on Baralai. She watched his soft expression grow into a look of pain. She could tell that he didn't want to fight, but he would if he had to. She nodded. "I'm going." Baralai froze as he listened to her words, but he didn't let his fear get to him. Why was she going against him? Didn't she trust him? "Paine." He said, his voice a little surprised by her actions. He saw as she stared at him. And he tightened the grip on his staff. "I don't…please, just leave." She frowned and rushed off into battle. Her dress sphere taking form of the dark knight she had acquired not too long ago. Time had waited for her as she was draped into the new armor and rise out of the fire with her long sword. She would have to get stronger with this suit and since Baralai had become the biggest challenge, she might as well earn some experience from him. Her sword slammed against his chest and he staggered back in a yell of pain and surprise. He pressed his hand to his chest as his eyes gazed down at the now torn clothing. Had she pierced him? He wondered, feeling lightly with his fingertips. A red liquid seeped onto his fingers and dropped onto the floor. He winced, looking back to Paine who slowly withdrew, stepping back. He narrowed his eyes on the girls. "It's not over!" He yelled as he reached to his side and pulled the custom gun from its holster. He aimed on Paine and pulled the trigger. And the gun exploded. He chose her specifically. She was the strongest and closest to him. If she were to fall first, maybe the others would retreat. They did not. Paine fell back as the bullet pierced through her hard metallic suit, splitting the iron that composed it as the bullet became wedged into it. She huffed as she slammed onto her back and cringed, trying to stand. She scowled, crawling to kneel and wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth. The force of the bullet had knocked the wind out of her. She worked to come to a stand but staggered back as she did. "Nice shot." she murmured with a glare. Yuna narrowed her eyes on Baralai. How could he do something like that? "Paine! You okay?" Rikku gasped, twirling her blades. She dodged Baralai's spiraling staff as he yelled in rage. "Just fine!" replied Paine as she ran off toward him. "I'll handle it!"  
  
Baralai dropped his staff and fell onto his knees. Panting as the blood seeped from his chest. His mouth had also collected some blood on its corner and he wiped angrily at it. He glared up at the three women who slowly took their steps to him. Paine tilted her head as she stared down on him. For once, his eyes had softened, sad-like, puppy-like, and she remembered him as he was then. The Lai she knew and respected, had returned. But she didn't want him to return in the state he was, bloody. He staggered back a bit as he stood, using his staff for support. He turned away and hurriedly took off around the corner. Rikku watched while Yuna tilted her head. They turned to the footsteps that went ahead of them. Paine stopped and turned to her friends. "Sorry." she said shrugging. "I'm going ahead." She didn't tell them why, but she must of felt the need to follow Baralai. Obviously besides Yevon hiding a large machine in their undergrounds, Baralai was hiding something too. And she'd find out. Paine wanted to save Baralai from whatever it was that was keeping him in that…dark era that she had sense. Baralai was always loving and compassionate. But just now, when they were fighting, it was as if someone else was fighting with him. He needed to be stopped! Yuna nodded. "You have your reasons." Rikku quite concerned for Paine held her hands to her chest. She nodded shutting her eyes, careful to show a smile instead of concern. "Fill us in later, okay?" Paine stalked off. "Much...later." And they watched her disappear. 

Or not.

Rikku ran after her screaming for her to 'wait up' and Yuna soon followed.  
  
"No way..." cried Rikku who was quite terrified.

"What is it?" Asked Paine. She slowly dropped her crossed arms to her sides and looked up.  
It was the first time she had seen one. A monstrous beauty surrounded by pyrflies. An Aeon, Rikku had said. Not in happiness, but in fear. Yuna stepped forward afraid of what was to come if she had to fight such a creature. Paine stretched a gloved hand and pulled Yuna back. She wouldn't let this beautiful creature tear her 'friend' apart. Not even for a moment. This Aeon, Bahamut, stood on two legs with its long arms crossed over its large chest, with extraordinary wings stretching behind it. Such a creature to see, thought Paine. But still, it loomed over them like death, itself. "You wanna get killed?!" screamed Paine, pulling Yuna back. She stepped forward and withdrew her sword, turning to the Aeon with her crimson eyes locked with the fires of battle. She slammed the blade down against the platform. "We have no choice!" The Aeon loomed down over Paine and growled with fire seeping from its mouth. She glared and charged forward. No longer was she draped within the fine metal of her Dark knight dress sphere. She was fully adorned in the comfortable leather of her warrior dressphere. And that was something she could never part with. She was a warrior and it fit her very well. She could sense Yuna's hesitation. The fear that struck her friend's heart as she sadly looked at the creature. Paine frowned. "You must fight! You have to!" She yelled, struggling alone against the Aeon. Yuna's thoughts disappeared at her friends' words and she turned to her sword. But then she fell again into her thought realm. She saw that the sword-- It resembled that of His. Tidus's sword. And with that sword, he had overcome so much and he had protected her. But now that he was gone...It was her turn. Her turn to protect her friends. She turned to the others. Rikku and Paine, attacking the Aeon. And the Aeon would scream with each blow that it received, and each blow that it'd give out. Paine fell back against the platform, cringing as she went, her side bleeding profusely. Then Rikku fell, shrieking as she held her stomach, her face covered with the blood that poured from her mouth. She was the only one standing. Slowly, her eyes followed the slender form of her Aeon. And it glared back at her with no sense of realization within its glowing red eyes. She stepped forward and clenched the hilt of her sword. Tidus' sword. "Okay..." she breathed. "This...is my turn." The Aeon collapsed on one knee, lowering its head to the high summoner. She dropped her sword and stepped slowly toward it. The Aeon rasped its whines as it was in pain from the battle. 

Yuna frowned and kneeled before it, stretching a hand to its head. But as her fingertips caressed its muzzle, it faded away into the pyreflies it was composed of. She watched as the pyreflies fell away, spiraling up into the air and away. Rikku and Paine stepped beside her as she let a tear fall from her eyes. They lowered their heads as well. Even for Paine, it was a brief moment.

"Why...is this happening...?" whispered Yuna as she looked over at all of the pyreflies swarming about the room. Rikku watched her Yunie with concern while Paine looked on. She didn't quite understand the situation, but could tell Yuna had a lot of sulking to do. She stepped up beside Yuna and gently touched her shoulder. "You were right Paine... we had to fight it, didn't we?" 

Paine remained silent. She felt that if she said anymore, their journey for spheres would end. Yuna wouldn't be able to go on. She'd be in fear that she had to fight her guardians, and Paine knew that was something she didn't want to do. Paine kneeled and took a gentle hold of Yuna's arm and helped her up.

"We have to go." Paine suggested. "Any longer and we'll have stayed too long."


	2. Consoling

****

Confessions of a Shady Past

-Nigrescence

Consoling.

Paine sat alone on top of the ship, hanging her arms over the arch built to resemble a Seagull. She sighed and looked down as the wind stirred her hair and the clouds whizzed past her. Alone, outside the ship, in the asphalt of only wind and clouds, Paine felt free. But suddenly she began to feel constricted and Her thoughts began to wander, running in the direction she wanted to stay away from: Baralai.

Yesterday seemed so weird. On so many levels. Baralai was fighting against her, against her team, all in an effort to protect a monster that could destroy all of Spira. What drove him to do something like that puzzled her, and she could guess her actions had puzzled him as well.

Paine sighed.

__

There he was, standing just as tall as she could remember. He was always taller than her, quieter, more sincere than the rest of the Crimson Squad. Those were some of the qualities she liked most about him. His hair was always soft, not that she touched it or anything, she could just imagine what her fingertips felt like through his perfectly blanched hair.

Her lips curved once she laughed.

__

There he was alone on the bridge. The pale moon's kiss reflecting off of his frame. The stars twinkled just above his head. He truly was a sight to see, but that was something that she'd never really admit. Except to herself. Paine absent-mindedly shook her head. He said he'd wonder what it'd be like to sit with someone in the foreground of a waterfall with pyre flies in the dark under a moon.

Paine wondered also.

__

What would it be like to sit with Baralai in that setting? How magical would it be or get? Would he act on instinct? Would he kiss her fears away? Or would he shyly turn away like he'd done so many times before? If only she knew…If only she remembered.

With his sudden change, his disposition, she feared she'd never truly find out. Baralai had changed. But not completely. There was still the 'Lai she knew, within him. His concerned look when she drew her sword told him so. He didn't want to fight, _she _didn't want to fight. They both knew.

Among that, he'd held back from using all of his moves on her. A few times, he went to strike, but as she came to block his attack on Yuna and Rikku, he stopped suddenly and jumped back, narrowing his eyes. If he truly wanted to hurt her, he would have done so. But he didn't. He didn't.

Paine sighed and wiped a tear from her eye.

All she wanted now was for this to end. For her to go home. Baralai was out of reach, she hadn't found Nooj or even Gippal. Even though it's uncertain, she knew she'd eventually meet up with them again.

Slow footsteps approached from behind her and a hand gently fell against her shoulder.

Paine barely moved and tossed a glance over her shoulder at the blonde who stood behind her. Buddy came to her side and kneeled to her level with much of a concern look on his face.

"Paine? You alright?" he looked over the tears in her eyes. For someone like Paine, sulking like she was, was uncommon. "What's wrong? Paine?"

Paine straightened and dried her eyes. "I'm fine. Just… thinking."

"I hope it's good thoughts your thinking. Tears like that shouldn't be sad ones."

Paine really didn't have much to say to Buddy. She barely knew him. She really expected Rikku to be behind her, consoling her, but Buddy was there. He was male. Maybe he understood what was going on with Baralai. Baralai, too, was male.

"Buddy." Paine called, trying to suppress the shedding of tears. "How do you know… how do you know when you've lost someone? When a guy's gone bad? Or worse, when he's left you?"

Buddy looked her over and raised a hand to his head. He figured it had something to do with their last mission.

"Is this about that guy? At Bevelle?" Paine remained silent.

Then she shook her head. "No. A _guy._"

"Okay, then." Buddy confirmed. It was about the guy in Bevelle. Baralai. "Well, for one, when a man or _guy_ leaves you, it's either because he found something more interesting or he's being led away. You know when you've lost him when he's no longer around. Or when he cannot relate. He's either gone bad by another's influence, or again, when something's become more interesting."

Paine collapsed into tears, raising her gloved hands to her face. Shocked, Buddy came to her side and kneeled down. He raised a comforting hand to her shoulder. "Hey, are you okay? Here, let me take you inside."

As Buddy went to help her up, Paine dug her face in his chest and sobbed uncontrollably. She'd lost him. How, she was unsure, but she knew Baralai was taken from her forever. Buddy looked down on Paine, uncomfortable with the fact that she was grieving on him. Hesitantly, he pressed his hands to her back and held her close. The least he could do was comfort her as she cried.

"It's okay, Paine." He murmured in her ear. He began patting her back and took an earful of her cries. "Shh. It's okay."

Images of Baralai began to surface past her blinding tears and conjure in her dark subconscious.

__

There they all were, the Crimson Squad, sitting at the round table in the bar, laughing and smiling. Paine pressed a gentle hand to Baralai's shoulder and whispered a joke into his ear.

Again Baralai blushed as he looked over to her and she looked to him.

__

She could easily detect the love in his eyes and she could see his struggle to hide it. Paine settled for a playful smile as she looked over to him. It wasn't something she'd show unless she was comfortable around the others. And with her voyage around Spira as the Crimson Squad's personal recorder, she learned to grow close to them quite substantially.

Then there was a certain flashback that was left unwritten. The Kiss(1). It was innocent, unintentional, but amazingly good for their first try. One night while Gippal and Nooj were in the bar, drinking away at old stories that Paine wasn't up to hearing, Baralai led her away.

Down the corridor and into a private room in which he'd created, he let Paine go first. At the sight of jewels, rare to her eyes and foreign to others, Paine smiled in enlightenment. She ran a gloved hand over a few of them, and examine a few others, but those things weren't nearly as captivating as what Baralai had to show her.

He locked the door. He didn't want the others barging in.

"Paine," he called, taking her hands in his own. "Come. I have something to show you."

"Really? Like what?" she asked, letting him take her hands. He led her into a separate room that conjoined with the other. The lighting within this room was dim, and the window within it held a nice view of the ocean and stars. There was a small desk in one corner and a bed in the other.

"This is my private quarters." He answered, looking back to her with a sincere smile. "I come here when I want to write or get away from everyone. Like those days when I'd… I'd disappear. You know."

"I do." she nodded, stepping further into the room. She had let to remove her hands from his.

"Here." he murmured, stepping to a kohl-painted box with crimson jewels around it. It looked like a medieval parchment, used for one of the mistress' jewels. Baralai lifted the box for her to see. "I… I wanted you to have this. It's been with my family for quite a while. Before they- before sin-…you know."

"Only the women shared this ornament of trust and love." he said. Then he laughed. "But since I'm male, I could not have been given the pleasure."

Paine smiled.

Baralai peeled back the box's cover and exposed the dark crimson necklace. As medieval as its casing, the jewel was especially morbid-looking. Then pentacle of it was in a shape of a diamond. The ends of it were not pointy, but curved, and outlined in metal ripples.

Paine gasped. "That's beautiful, Baralai. But I couldn't- I mean, it belongs to your family."

"Nonsense," he answered in her ear. He positioned himself behind her and draped the unusual-looking necklace around her neck. Clasping it closed, he smoothed it out from her shoulders to her chest, peering over her shoulder to make sure he wasn't violating her in any way. "I kept it. There isn't a more beautiful woman that could wear it."

Paine absent-mindedly leaned her head to his as he leaned over her shoulder, and placed a hand on top of his as she marveled at the gift. Baralai drew in a soft breath and hesitantly moved his hand. Instead of removing them completely, he rested his hands gently against her shoulders.

"Are you happy?" He softy murmured against her ear. "Do you accept my offering of love and trust?"

Paine turned around in his grasp and looked into his eyes. More than anything. Did he need to really ask? She was taken with him from the day she met him. Although it took a while to show it, trying to keep up with her nonchalant attitude, she did allow some of her feelings to show.

She pulled her arms around him in a hug, catching him off guard. Baralai flushed and looked down on Paine as she sighed and tucked her nose within the crook of his neck. The contact was so close that he could feel her chest through his garments. Which produced a special feeling within him. Something he thought he'd never really feel. In response to the embrace, he wrapped his arms around her and leaned his head to hers.

"I accept 'lai." she murmured, shutting her eyes. All she wanted him to do was hold her. She wanted it. She knew he wanted it. "Thank you."

"That is the least of what I have to show you." He murmured, drawing her back by her shoulders. Looking over her face, noticing how pleased she was by his gift, he took her hands and led her to the small cot near the window. "We are coming across Peruvia Vast. And look over there."

Paine followed his hand as he lifted it to the west and saw the giant waterfall, spilling large amounts of soul into the dip below. Her face brightened.

"Pyreflies!" she smiled, turning to Baralai. He nodded and smiled back.

"Aren't they beautiful?" he asked.

"They are." she murmured, watching them as they floated in sparks amidst the water. Baralai watched her longing gaze. She was even more beautiful. He couldn't admit it out loud, he knew it'd seem awkward, but that was in the least. He was shy. He'd never say it. He relied too much on his insecurities to speak on it.

"Paine?" he called, still staring at her. Slowly turning to face him, Paine eased his heart with a smile.

"Yeah, 'Lai?"

"I…I think I-" his heart fluttered. Paine smiled even more and drew him to sit beside her. He looked as though he'd pass out any minute. And his face was red!

"'Lai? What's wrong? What is it?" She now looked concerned. Baralai turned away from her.

"I think…I think I- I mean, Paine, do you-" Baralai kicked himself for not speaking his emotions or clearly for that matter. Paine noticed the fight within his eyes and drew a hand to his head to brush away white hair from his eyes. His face fell into her grasp. The way her fingertips felt through his hair was mesmerizing, like when you graze that itch that's been picking at your scalp all day. If he couldn't say it, he had to show her. His words weren't as powerful as his actions.

As if prompted, Paine leaned her head against his in a comforting manner. The way friends do when one of the two are down in the dumps. Their hair entwined and their cheeks touched. Baralai's cheeks were completely flushed by the contact. He could smell her scent, see down her shirt, and her arms around him made him grow more uncomfortable. But it was all on good merit. Then almost involuntary he withdrew from her with his hands cupping her face. His eyes searched hers, sending her ringlets of stares that could tell her how he felt. She stared back at him and calmly smiled.

Then she did something she didn't think she could. Placing her hands over his, she lowered them until they fell against her waist, then trailed her hands along his hands to his chest pulling him closer toward her.

Their lips locked with one another, drawing in the silence. The only noise came from the soaring of the pyreflies as they danced along the bow of the ship and fluttered to the waterfall and back. Paine moaned into a kiss, falling back against the small cot with Baralai above her. He undressed her, she him. Each helped the other with the stubborn garments and uncooperative fasteners.

Paine thought of nothing more than the pleasure of his hands and mouth, the ecstasy of his body over hers. Inside hers.

It was perfect. He was perfect.

Afterward, they lay on their sides, cupped like spoons, hearts beating fast. Paine yawned and she felt Baralai smile against her hair. He dipped his nose to her neck, smelling her scent, then licked at her flesh to raise a love-bite.(1)

"We should go." He murmured.

"No." she answered, snuggling into him. "Forget about them. Lets… let's just stay here tonight."

He nuzzled her neck affectionately. "Are you sure?"

"I'm certain, 'Lai. So sure."

"Paine?" Buddy called. Paine came to with a start, collapsing into his chest with tears to match her sobs.

"Buddy," she sobbed, "Thanks. Thank you so much."

Buddy looked down on her. She had no reason to thank him. All he did was try to comfort her. He pulled her away by her shoulders and looked at her with much concern.

"Paine. I don't know much about what's happening here," he said, holding her away from him, "But all I have to tell you is go and try to keep him. This guy."

Paine nodded and wiped away at her eyes. As her hand rubbed her eyes, she smeared the charcoal mascara over her cheeks. At the sight of her fingertips, she gasped and saw the dark crud that covered them. Below her hand, she noticed the necklace against her chest and dissolved into tears once more.

As if her tears weren't enough, the goddesses above began to shed their tears as well, sending a violent shower of rain down on the pair. Buddy sighed and drew her into his arms, helping her up. If he had his jacket, he'd have covered her with it.

"Come on," he said, tossing his voice over the weather. "Lets get you inside."

---

(1) If you would like a back-story regarding their _onboard relationship_, which will be more detailed than above, I'll be glad to give you at least 3 chapters of that. Maybe more. I refrained from giving more sexual content to save grace on our less mature readers. The PainexBaralai Flick, I suppose, will be rated NC-17/R for those that can handle adult behavior. I mean, C'mon, we don't stay young forever. And how do we know that Paine and Baralai didn't do something? Maybe they did. I'm here to tell it my way.


End file.
